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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a woman scream twice? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on her curtains."

"What do sex and The Big Issue have in common? (Original Joke) I buy them exclusively from homeless people"

"""Toothpaste? You made that word up!"" - Steve Bushemi"

"Me: LARGE FRY! McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW Me: I WILL CUT YOU! *sirens*"

"They still won't let me on Shark Tank with my feminine hygiene products with Yo Momma jokes printed on 'em. That shit's racist."

"Alcohol is never the answer...... Unless the question is, ""What is C2H5OH?"""

"One time in band camp... They threatened me with eternal torture. Oh wait that was Bible camp."

"What's the difference between sex and golf? In golf one bad hole won't kill you."

"A blind man walks into a bar... then a table, then finally a chair."

"What do fat people call the runs? The walks"