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Joke of the Day

"Gonna get my girlfriend a pickaxe for Valentine's Day. Because she's a Minor"

"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates, they'll kill your dog."

"""This is OnStar. How can we assist?"" ""What are you wearing?"" ""Do I need to get a supervisor?"" ""Like a threesome? Is that part of my plan?"""

"I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year."

"Chuck Norris can't play LIFE. his is too complicated"

"*opens front door to see Christmas carolers singing Please, I have a family"

"Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? It had a reptile dysfunction"

"What do you call a frog that's parked illegally? Toad."

"What is black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee."

"Several people dancing around a pen... What is the movie name? Independence Day"