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Joke of the Day

"Geez, I'm so sorry...I'm not normally ticklish. (me to the nail lady I just kicked in the face during my pedicure)"

"Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station."

"Sex is a big joke. I just don't get it."

"These microwaved pot stickers taste like fixed income."

"By age 30, most men have found that one special hairstyle they want to spend the rest of their life with."

"I dropped my bowl of SpaghettiOs and it spelled 'oooooooo' on the floor. Spooky"

"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! AM I BEING DETAINED?"

"What Came First... The chicken Or the furry?"

"Why do skeletons not go to the disco? Because they got no body to dance with!"

"If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player ? The one in the sugar bowl !"