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Joke of the Day

"Why do mermaids wear seashells for bras? Because a and b shells are too small."

"Lois: ""I saw Batman yesterday. He's put on a lot of weight"" Clark: *lowers glasses* ""More like Fat- Lois: ""Oh my god it's Superman"""

"I'm afraid of people who keep smiling all the time. I feel like they still have plenty of space left for more bodies in their basement."

"Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier."

"About what time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tennish"

"Question: In China... ...is everything ""Made in China""?"

"My plumber insists on personally using every toilet he just installed. His mission is to boldly go where no one has gone before. Sorry Gene. We still love you."

"The Ouija board spells out WHAT'S UP GAYLORD and I'm like is there really no one else in the spirit realm besides my grandma?"

"What's imaginary that my girlfriend and I afraid to forget? My girlfriend"

"Teacher: I see you don't cut your hair any longer. Fred: No sir I cut it shorter."