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Joke of the Day

"The Ouija board spells out WHAT'S UP GAYLORD and I'm like is there really no one else in the spirit realm besides my grandma?"

"Why are black people so good at jumping? As developing children their knee grows."

"What's black and sits on top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."

"How do you get a redneck to give a dog a blowjob? Dip the dog's dick in ranch dressing."

"My girlfriend and I like to roleplay She pretends to be a nurse while I pretend she exists."

"I can't come tonight, couldn't get a babysitter.. It is really difficult to get a babysitter when you don't have any children."

"Saudi Arabia 900 women thinking they can run for office and win. Ha"

"Why is Jesus gay? Ahhh men"

"What do you call an eight-legged insect holding a magnifying glass? A spy, duh."

"The lady at the massage parlor asked if I wanted a happy ending, I said yes and then she proceeded to tell me the plot of Homeward Bound."