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Joke of the Day

"My plumber insists on personally using every toilet he just installed. His mission is to boldly go where no one has gone before. Sorry Gene. We still love you."

"Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment overnight. It's an absolute mystery as to why though. The plot thickens..."

"What did the libertarian shirt say when it was thrown into the washing machine? AM I BEING DE-STAINED?!"

"Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria's Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free."

"According to the Bible, what company was the first car manufacturer? Honda. Because Jesus and his apostles were in one accord."

"What's the speed limit for sex? Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around."

"Excuse are like cakes Fat people are full of them"

"Want to read a joke about pizza? Never-mind, it's too cheesy!"

"""Alright kids, I just got off the phone. Now, raise your hands if your parents are still alive!"" ""Not so fast, Billy."""

"When a necrophiliac goes to a funeral... He gets mourning wood."