40073

Joke of the Day

"Teacher: I see you don't cut your hair any longer. Fred: No sir I cut it shorter."

"Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning Because I can't get out of bed."

"If sex was my religion, I'd be an athiest."

"Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! Have a fowl meal!"

"Me: What kind of stupid phone you got there? Him: Windows phone Me: Oh [takes it and lobs it out the window] Yes it is"

"I used to be into bestiality, sadism, and necrophilia... But eventually I realized I was beating a dead horse."

"Padme: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who's not going to murder me. Anakin: You've chosen wisely."

"the cats out of the bag now... now the cats in the bag but you can still see its tail.. now the cats rolling around in some sand and dirt"

"My 82 year old Grandpa's favorite joke A skeleton walks into a bar, sits down and says ""I'll have a beer and a mop"""

"My local barber was busted today for dealing drugs. I'm in shock. I've been a loyal customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber."