142239

Joke of the Day

"The introduction of Yoga Pants have been found to be the cause of a 0.65 drop in the GPA of Males. I dont have significant data to back this up, But i have some notes from college that show causation."

"I discovered the number one reason OP never delivers. #"

"What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend? My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string"

"You'd think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won't."

"""I think that kid's a robot"" What? ""Look at his mouth"" Relax they're just braces *backs away slowly* ""That's exactly what a robot would say"""

"So who is this ""Rorschach"" guy... ...And why does he love drawing pictures of naked men?"

"On a scale of 1 to Canadian bacon, how sad were you when you found out Hamlet wasn't a story about a tiny, baby ham?"

"I've got a quiet buddy who taught his cat to speak. He's a fan of mew words."

"What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket? He got off on a technicality"

"[job interview] ""So where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Getting asked this question somewhere else"