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Joke of the Day
"I've got a quiet buddy who taught his cat to speak. He's a fan of mew words."
Next Joke
"Hell is probably just thousands of tourists trying to take pictures of you walking a cat."
"Channel 4 are making a documentary about a black man producing cocaine in his bedroom, they're calling it, ""CHOCOLATE & HIS CHARLIE FACTORY."""
"Cyclists who don't obey street signs should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt."
"What does a physics cow say? "
"For Halloween this year, I went as Julian Assange And stayed home."
"What's a big game hunter? Someone who's lost his way to the match."
"Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A: A Chopin Liszt."
"I said ""Candyman"" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there."
"""Never go to bed angry"" is some solid advice if you want to stay up until 3am fighting"