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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend? My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string"

"A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And then a staircase. I don't think hes alright, can someone get a doctor?"

"Whenever I conduct a job interview I ask the applicant to name their favorite Muppet, and no matter the answer I scowl and shake my head."

"What's the only thing worse than asbestos? Asworstos."

"Siri, what's depression? Siri: Here are your directions to Chuck E Cheese."

"Homeless people have been known to step outside the box."

"What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels? A heroine addict."

"I started calling my wife ""Zika""... ...so that I could just get a little head, baby."

"Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today."

"Never underestimate the power of a woman's INTUITION. Some women can recognize game before you even play it."