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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] ""So where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Getting asked this question somewhere else"

"Tomorrow France plays Germany... Their defense will try to last 90 minutes and beat their World War 2 record..."

"Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. They found out today 7 minutes of his life wasn't photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook."

"Always hit women with a left hook... ...because they don't deserve any rights"

"Why do Cows have Hooves instead of Feet? Because they Lac-Tose."

"Where do Tumblr users go to pray? The Cis-Teen Chapel"

"Do you know the thing about carpets? They demand to be felt."

"What do you call a gay who actually fought in Vietnam and doesn't speak english? Russian"

"The first rule of crossword club is (3,2,3,4,5,9,4)"

"if there were a zombie apocalypse i'd save a lot of kids but it would be only because i'd need them later to feed zombies so i can run away"