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Joke of the Day

"Headline: World helium shortage over due to discovery of helium field. Scientist: (high voice) This new supply of helium is a game-changer"

"What does pubic hair and parsley have in common? You just push them both aside and keep on eating."

"How do you spell socks in Spanish? Eso si que es."

"The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations."

"how sodomy started........ a good friend & an itchy butthole."

"How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren't getting enough fiber?"

"There's no law that says you can't use a tiny pancake as an eyepatch."

"Who did Chris Brown mistook Rihanna for? Britney Spears"

"What's the hardest part of a cabbage to eat? The wheelchair."

"[opens jar of olives and pours them in my garden] ""Now grow to be a restaurant"""