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Joke of the Day

"quick poll: why'd you break up with me in high school Alison"

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"Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!"
"Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day. Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns. Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins. Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns."
"Will playing ""GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony"" make me a homosexual? Same question for ""GTA IV: The Lost and The Damned."
"Where is Engagement, Ohio? Between Dayton and Marion."
"What did the cow say to the horse? Mooooooo"
"ME: What an emotional roller coaster ROLLER COASTER: [calling out to me as I exit the park] Why are you leaving??!! Is it something I said?"
"What's the biggest Jewish conundrum? Free Bacon!"
"Hey, did you fall from heaven? So did Satan."
"What illness do you diagnose a sick ass online bowling player with? E-bowla!"