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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma so white... ...she thinks mayonaise is a spice. ...when she goes to vote, her name is still on the list. ...when she goes to jail, she gets parole."

"I hate recursion, irony, and the Oxford Comma."

"Not to get technical, but according to Chemistry...Alcohol is a solution."

"DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? I do take the lift sir."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Handed over by an eastern european immigrant who doesn't care what happens to it or expect to see it again."

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban at the San Diego zoo."

"After twin sisters plummeted off a Hawaii cliff, one died. The other was charged with murder. Just goes to show if you can't take the sting out of a bee, take the bee from the ... sting."

"What do you call a poo which still remains after flushing? An **UFO** - **U**nflushable **F**loating **O**bject"

"What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper? A seasoned veteran."

"I have really bad hearing & thought he said ""I love turds"" but he said ""nerds"" & now I don't know what to do with this shit in my underwear."