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Joke of the Day

"After twin sisters plummeted off a Hawaii cliff, one died. The other was charged with murder. Just goes to show if you can't take the sting out of a bee, take the bee from the ... sting."

"The wood necromancer thought he had the upper hand when he trapped the clerics in his log cabin... But all too soon, the tables had turned."

"To my American friends: On Sunday, don't forget to set your clocks back one hour. On Tuesday, try not to set your country back 50 years."

"Me: Is there something wrong with your pasta? 4-year-old: It's not a doughnut."

"A Trump supporter and a squirrel humping an acorn... are both fucking nuts."

"If I wanted to seduce my mom with fruit... ...should I send her an Oedipal Arrangement?"

"Pretty insulting when you wake up in a bathtub of ice and they left all your organs."

"Sounds like its time to get that Enterprise built!"

"That's the hardest thing about killing a toddler? My dick."

"*walks past German Shepherd and nods* Officer..."