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Joke of the Day

"Computer nerd dirty talk I'm going to stick my D: disk into your V: drive."

"So Aliens Arrive ""Earth has a species with advanced warfare, they seem intelligent."" ""No, they have it aimed at themselves."""

"If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer."

"Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate? Because he was running on CP time."

"I'm not keen on Neanderthal comedy. It's very low-brow humour."

"Why do they allow people in wheelchairs to bring carry-ons onto a plane? Aren't they themselves a carry-on?"

"The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone"

"Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? A. Any place without a drive-up window."

"If a tree falls down in the woods... But nobody is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"Did you know; one hamburger only contains 4% of our daily need of vitamine -B This means we need to eat way more hamburgers!"