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Joke of the Day

"The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone"

"I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through."

"What is the worst part about screwing a 7 year old kid? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."

"Doctors have confirmed that masturbation is life threatening Many men have died after having a stroke"

"Where does an angry pirate get sent? Anchor Management"

"Which has less drunks: an Irish wedding or an Irish funeral? An Irish funeral has one less drunk."

"Honey, I gained weight to prevent women from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you."

"I bet when the first guy wore glasses everybody was like ""Oh la de da, excuse me Mr. I Need TWO Monocles."""

"I am not going to joke about muslims and islam because.. I don't want the last thing I am going to hear to be: ""ALLAHU AKBAR!!"" and the sound of an explosion."

"EA just announced this amazing FIFA 16 feature - player is now able to run from the FBI"