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Joke of the Day

"""Brokeback Mountain"" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard."

"{Working as a bouncer} ID please *looks* Okay you can go *softly kisses their forehead first*"

"old linux joke I like my women like my kernels about 6 years old and stable"

"If a cannibal ate a comedian... ...that could lead to some funny shit"

"Wife: ""Would you like to help me....?"" Translation: ""Do it or die."""

"Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top she's old enough. If it isn't cut the barrel down a bit."

"What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it."

"A termite walks into a bar... And asks the nearest person ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"""

"What do you name a deaf dog? It doesn't matter, he ain't coming anyways."

"How do you make a 4 year old girl cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."