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Joke of the Day

"Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs."

"I went to my local city's zoo. They had just one animal. A dog! It was a shit zu."

"We get about 25 screaming 5 yr old little girls together to scream nonstop at terrorists, BOOM, we win the War on Terror!"

"""Do you need a ride?"" Me, to every jogger I pass in my car"

"Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with ""I see the assassins have failed."""

"Skirts on people can create cooling effect by flapping when in close range. They also can create heating effect by fapping."

"If you are trading Cephalopods, it's important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value. You know.... Squid Pro Quo"

"My nephew told me all he wants for Christmas is his dead dog back. Can't WAIT to see his face when I wrap it up and stick it under the tree."

"A man on one side of a river shouts to a man standing on the other side, ""Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?"" The other man responds, ""You are on the other side of the river."""

"Job interview... H- ""So how would you describe yourself?"" Me- ""Verbally but just incase I prepared a dance"".."