192089

Joke of the Day

"Perspective is everything. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the live lobsters in the ship's galley."

"I am trying to get some help for my PTSD... But it always seems to be one flash forward and then two flashbacks."

"Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves Free."

"How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy? You put a bounty on his head."

"Why is Florida not an island?? Because Georgia sucks..."

"My girlfriend is like my bike. Some black guy stole her from me too."

"Programming Job I wanted to give you some C++ pointers but I wanted to make sure you got this reference."

"Three guys walk into a bar together... You would've thought at least one of them would have seen it!"

"The difference between a girlfriend and a girl friend... is a little chasm I call the friend zone."