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Joke of the Day

"You know what really grinds my gears? When I shift into third without using the clutch."

"A low pressure faucet and a penis with erectile dysfunction have a lot in common.... Both can still drain their liquids but neithers getting anything off"

"Why did the blind man use chopsticks? Because he couldn't see the point in forks."

"I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high She told me she's tired of my repost BS and divorced me. It was definitely a surprise."

"I'm pretty sure I have all of those countless hours spent playing Tetris to thank for my mad dishwasher loading skills."

"You know how rich people prefer Bose, Bang & Olufsen and Marantz? That's just a stereotype."

"What do a short-sighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose."

"Two Bass Drums and A Cymbal Fall Off the Roof. Buh-dum tssh"

"How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge? He had seen a sign saying 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'"

"What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up? Its axle rose."