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Joke of the Day

"No one should knock on Oscar Pistorius front door tonight.. Last time, his girlfriend said ""trick or treat"" and he shot her."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair with a cell phone? Virgin Mobile."

"How do people not know how to say their ABC's backwards. It's 3 fucking letters."

"Show me on this doll where the bad man gave you a skewed perspective of a female body"

"What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef..."

"Keep clam. I'm dyslexic."

"Woman and her Cat What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat? Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss"

"Det. Chick Pea at your service. What do you call it when a chickpea smashes another chickpea to death. Hummuscide Thank you, I'll let myself out..."

"My friend Phillip got his lip removed yesterday.. we call him Phil now"

"Joke From My Niece Her: Why did the chicken cross the road? Me: Why? Her: To get to the ugly guy's house. Me:??? Her: Knock knock Me: Who's there? Her: It's the chicken!"