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Joke of the Day

"Woman and her Cat What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat? Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss"

"Your mom can deduct mouthwash and contraceptives as business expenses on her tax return. Because she's a ho."

"My son looks just like me. With his eyes. xpost to /r/dadjokes"

"Atheism is non-prophet organization."

"Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor."

"(On phone) Him: I just ran a marathon in under four? Me: (eating) months or years?"

"Why do rabbits make good mathematicians? Because they're constantly multiplying!"

"[funeral] *walks up to give eulogy* *pulls notes out of pocket* ""Frank was a weirdo that bit his toenails."" *folds notes* *sits back down*"

"What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed? [OC] High humor"

"My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark."