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Joke of the Day

"Keep clam. I'm dyslexic."

"Why did the mom cry as her baby Richard became older? Her little Dick was growing."

"Q: How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart? A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!"

"Ladies: If I hit on you please don't panic, I am a bachelor and that's what bachelors do."

"White smoke is coming out of my neighbor's house. He either elected a new Pope or he's got some good weed."

"So, a man walks into a bar... and he gets a bruise on his head. (Yes, I know its a bad joke.)"

"What do you call a gay man's balls? Mud flaps"

"I'm not sure if this clerk is smiling at me bc he knows I'm high or bc we're both high, but it's been 6 minutes and we're still just smiling"

"Still trying to convince my boss that I'm just using beer-flavoured toothpaste."

"So sorry... Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say... Unless you're Chinese, then it's ""squirrel""."