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Joke of the Day

"My friend Phillip got his lip removed yesterday.. we call him Phil now"

Next Joke
 
"What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."
"Why are farmers cruel? They pull corn by the ears."
"Let's play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game Whenever your girlfriend goes to the bathroom take a shot"
"A rabbi, a nun, and a horse walk into a bar, bartender says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""
"Why did the baker go to work? He kneaded the dough!"
"Why did the skeleton go alone to prom? Because he had *nobody* to go with."
"Did you hear that they're bringing back Pimp My Ride? It's called Uber."
"Don't worry guys, my wife just turned the car radio down so we shouldn't be lost much longer."
"A blind man walks into a bar.. And a table. And a chair."