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Joke of the Day

"Another Tom Swifty ""I have only diamonds, clubs, and spades,"" said Tom heartlessly."

"Time to ban High Capacity Assault Vehicles? how else could we stop this?"

"I came across a joke on Reddit.... ....and read-it."

"What do you call a Tolkien creature who studies insects? An *Ent*omologist"

"COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer"

"Q: What is the best way to speak to a ghoul? A: From a long ways away."

"Air & space museum. Shouldn't the air & space museum be empty?"

"Me: I played this as a kid. It's from back when video games made sense 6-year-old: Why did you jump on a turtle? Me: Because I'm a plumber"

"It is my sincerest hope that the act of dying feels like finally peeing after a long bumpy car ride."

"[principal's office] ""Your child's previous school indicates you're a bit of a helicopter parent."" Velociraptor: That's got to be a typo."