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Joke of the Day

"Me: I played this as a kid. It's from back when video games made sense 6-year-old: Why did you jump on a turtle? Me: Because I'm a plumber"

"OJ's son did it! OJ'S son: Daddy Daddy the ice cream man is here! Can I have some money? OJ: Go axe yo mama"

"Lawyer: As My Lord knows,... Judge: Don't presume I know it, counsel. Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know..."

"Police: We'd like u to come with us to answer some questions about ur husband's disappearance. Mrs. Potato Head eating french fries: why?"

"These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday."

"If I ever became invisible, I'd kick fuck out of a mime Imagine the round of applause he'd get"

"""I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT'S WHAT WE'RE CALLING IT"" - Guy who named the sweater."

"What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)"

"Why couldn't the incontinent man print his documents? He couldn't Ctrl+P"

"If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission."