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Joke of the Day

"Isn't it so weird when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating."

"Remember, YOUR God is real. All those other Gods are ridiculous, made-up nonsense. But not yours. Your God is real. Whichever one that is."

"What is the most confusing holiday in Detroit? Labor Day."

"Why does nobody like to sit next to Elsa? Coz...she ""let's it go!"""

"""I am as misquoted as Marilyn Monroe."" - Abe Lincoln"

"What do you call a camel in the North Pole? Lost..... Why the fuck would a camel be in the North Pole?"

"No one should knock on Oscar Pistorius front door tonight.. Last time, his girlfriend said ""trick or treat"" and he shot her."

"What does all pirate music have in common? It's all played in the high C's."

"Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton walk into a plane............... Ouch..."

"Do your socks have holes in them? No? Well then how did you get your feet in them?"