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Joke of the Day

"Remember, YOUR God is real. All those other Gods are ridiculous, made-up nonsense. But not yours. Your God is real. Whichever one that is."

"What do gay horses eat? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art not as nice as this time last year."

"Say what you will about deaf people..."

"When life gives me lemons, I make lemon meringue pie..because lemonade is for amateurs...& because I'm gay..& we always take it up a notch."

"Heisenberg is driving down the highway and gets pulled over by a cop... Cops says, ""Do you have any idea how fast you were going."" Heisenberg says, ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

"I was an alcoholic for seven years. Today marks my eighth."

"So, you don't like hypothermia? All the cool kids are getting it."

"*kneels to pray* ""Hello, God?"" ""YOU'VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT."" ""Who is this?"" ""MY NAME IS BRAD."" ""Are you in Heaven, Brad?"" ""NO, INDIA."""

"At church, last sunday ..., the preacher said ""Jesus died for your sins"". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted ""Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"""