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Joke of the Day

""" So the boat was about to sink until I attached a sail to my boner and made it safely to shore"" Me if I was on the Titanic."

"I wanted to upload the Mexico-Chile game to PornHub... ... but PornHub said they don't accept rape."

"I'm going to subtly spread my brownie crums across your car because I silently resent you for changing the song."

"One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom."

"How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts? Quid each."

"My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!"

"To all my haters. First of all, you should know that I'm typing this with my middle finger."

"Why was six scared of seven?"

"What is dill bread made from? Dill dough."

"Yogi Berra has officially gone home. But he should have gone to 1st for the force out. Rip yogi Berra."