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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to upload the Mexico-Chile game to PornHub... ... but PornHub said they don't accept rape."

"When Trump was a kid wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up... ...but all he was able to accomplish was the first syllable."

"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will ""Let It Go."

"Favourite one-liner? ""stationary shop moves"" - Jimmy Carr **Another favourite -** ""I keep my porno tapes in my sock drawer, it's all you need in one place"" - Jason Manford"

"What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? A dictator."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow? Give her a shovel."

"How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces? Squish it in your hand."

"[nearing end of first date] Me: I'll give you a call later, OK? Her: *throws phone in river* I lost my phone."

"I am not an alcoholic. I simply enjoy living in liquid medium."

"Why did the dad make the joke? For the pun of it."