36757

Joke of the Day

"I'm going to subtly spread my brownie crums across your car because I silently resent you for changing the song."

"""One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you...."" under a moving bus"

"What does Pluto have up on Palestine? At least Pluto exists"

"Some people think stalking is wrong... I call those people cops"

"What is it called when a lumberjack masturbates? Logging off."

"What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation? ""I'm Prada you son."""

"DUMBLEDORE: Say hello to our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Totally-Not-Working-For-Voldemort. SNAPE: Dude, seriously?"

"What does Trump say after sex? ""You're the best daughter ever."" (Credit for inspiration to the ""What does Bill say to Hilary after sex"" joke)"

"What did the clock do after the good meal? He went back four seconds."

"Right now, several billion people aren't dating you. How rude is that?"