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Joke of the Day
"Waiter, there's an I in my team"
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"A girl asked me whether I preferred breasts or thighs I replied , "" I prefer bubble butts and double D's"" Then I got kicked out of KFC."
"The past, the present and the future walk into a bar... ...Then things got tense."
"""Bro she's a cold digger"" [later with gf] Do you only want me for my germs? [she stops licking my face] Why would you ask that?"
"How can you tell which nurse is the head nurse? She's the one with dirty knees."
"My local grocery store has a special deal going on at the self scan aisle, buy one get like 30 free."
"Why are lemons yellow? They don't know it either - that's why they are so sour"
"A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, ""do you have that book for men with small penises?"" ""Yeah it's on the third lane"" ""Okay, thanks"""
"That awkward moment when your girlfriend and side chick are both pregnant... ...and you realize you have to tell your wife."
"What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician? I can't see you anymore."