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Joke of the Day

"Something so sad. A can of Coke getting crushed. It is soda pressing."

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"Incontinence Hotline Could you hold, please?"
"What's an archaeologist? Someone whose career is in ruins."
"Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course no one pays the least bit of attention."
"That chick really knocked my socks off. And I had just finished folding and stacking them, too. Bitch."
"What`s the definition of eternity? The time between when you come and when she leaves."
"One dark night, there was a rustle in the bushes... Russel, get out of the bushes!"
"You want to know my favorite letter in the gangsta's alphabet? GHETT-O!"
"What do you get when you turn a blonde upside down? A brunette with bad breath."
"Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them."