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Joke of the Day

"Incontinence Hotline Could you hold, please?"

"Why aren't Pokemon very good dancers? They can only learn 4 moves."

"My dog's frightened to walk across shiny floors and won't eat dog food unless I heat it up. I have a feeling he'd be a flop out in nature."

"THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he objectifies women ME: [trying to stuff bread into her armpit] toaster"

"What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary? Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator)."

"Boy: Do you like parties? Girl: Yes, why? Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"

"I designed a website for orphans. There isn't a homepage."

"All squirrels fly when you own a T-shirt cannon."

"A polar bear walks into a bar Sez, ""l'll take a gin .... [ ] .... ..... and tonic."" Bartender sez, ""Why the big pause""?"

"What made the triangle high? Potenuse Credit: Key and Peele. I don't want to be like that kid in class."