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Joke of the Day

"In a new interview, President Obama revealed that his daughter Malia recently went to her first prom. She wore a corsage on her wrist while her date wore a red laser dot on his head."

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"What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes? A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro"
"What is the dankest kind of pizza? Pepe-roni"
"There should be a second 'The Ugly Duckling' written Benjamin Button-style for all the cute kids that turn out ugly."
"Men Are Polite When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body....men are so polite they only look at the covered parts"
"""I'm in."" - Samuel L. Jackson to every movie pitch he's ever heard"
"Do you have pet insurance? Coz I'm gonna destroy your pussy tonight"
"What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast? gingerbread"
"What kind of zoo has no animals except for a small, yappy dog? A shih tzu"
"Knock Knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery."