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Joke of the Day

"Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course no one pays the least bit of attention."

"THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women."

"TIFU by locking up an underage girl in my sex dungeon Whoops, wrong sub"

"I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever."

"It's amazing how much more money I have when I'm drunk."

"I moustache you a question but I'm shavin' it for later Sean Connery."

"Robin: ""Please?"" Batman: ""No."" ""It's prom!"" ""You can't drive the Batmobile!"" Alfred: ""Can I? It's Bingo night."" Batman: *tosses keys*"

"What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election? They though it was Riel funny!"

"I like my women like I like my golf score Mid-eighties and with slight handicap."

"Man gets arrested by female police officer A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" The man replies, ""Boobs!"""