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Joke of the Day

"A blind man goes to optician for a check up. The optician takes his guide dog away, replaces it with another and asks, 'Is this better?'"

"I once met a Redditor in Europe. His username Czechs out."

"Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast."

"I have a friend named Tim who is dyslexic and shares too much. We call him Tmi."

"My grandma always said slow and steady wins the race. She died in a house fire."

"If trump gets elected can we make a show similar to the apprentice but when Trump says ""your fired"" he sends a nuclear missile at a country."

"What's the difference between a ruble and a dollar? One dollar"

"What is the pig's favorite musical instrument? The piggalo (piccalo)."

"Man goes to a library asking for a book on suicide... The librarian refuses. He asks why. The librarian replies 'Who'll return the book?'"

"Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep."