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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a ruble and a dollar? One dollar"

"The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was that one night stand."

"5-year-old: I'm supposed to find out more about my hero for school. Me: Aw, you came to me. 5: Yeah. Can you tell me more about Batman?"

"Ugh, I'm still writing 2009 on all my ransom notes"

"What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs? His horse Marengo"

"Calm down, people on FB who ran the Detroit marathon. I'd be running a shit load too if I were in Detroit."

"I think I will take my next drivers license picture drunk so I can say pshaw! I always look like that."

"Robin Williams was found dead in his house. The police suspect arson, but I doubtfire. Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/2dacn8/no/cjnr8i8"

"A friend of mine told me she met a really cute boy in a bar who was solving equations on a napkin. I told her to look for his unknown."

"My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary."