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Joke of the Day

"Why do Jamaican philosophers shit together? Because they discuss tings."

"me: goodnight moon :) moon: night<3 me: goodnight stars :) moon: wtf me: sry wrongnumber moon: whos stars moon: who is stars moon: answer me"

"I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ."

"Seals are just dog mermaids."

"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? He doesn't want to get nailed to the Boards."

"How many potatoes do you need to kill an Irish man? None"

"If you tell me to ""chillax,"" I will ""chillstab"" you and ""chillaugh"" while you bleed to ""chilldeath."""

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking ... J K Rowling"

"Prank caller: Is your refrigerator running? Me: Of course. Can't have these bodies at room temperature"

"What's common between a lawyer and an eccentric billionaire with bad teeth? Both have a very expensive retainer."