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Joke of the Day
"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking ... J K Rowling"
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"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."
"I was very impressed by this child's witch costume. Until I realised she was just an ugly midget in a black dress."
"You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon."
"My signature move is getting drunk before anyone can ask me to be the designated driver."
"American kids need to get better grades in school. Come on, guys. It's USA, not USB."
"Selfish Girls When I was a kid. Many girls want to kiss me I Allowed. But Now... I want To Kiss Many Girls but They Don't Allow me."
"""Honey, does this milk seem spoiled?"" *milk locks itself in its room til it gets an iPhone 6* ""Oh its just going thru a phase"""
"Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces"
"How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso"