201173

Joke of the Day

"If you tell me to ""chillax,"" I will ""chillstab"" you and ""chillaugh"" while you bleed to ""chilldeath."""

"The lords army. Chad: My brother, why don't you join the lords army? Bob: I'm already their. Chad: I don't see you on Sundays... Bob: I'm in the secret service."

"Why can't melons have shotgun weddings? They cantaloupe"

"Learning to love yourself is important. Just don't let your wife catch you doing it."

"I have a joke from Germany Just kidding, we have no sense of humor."

"Why did the kitchen cross the road? Because there was a woman on the other side."

"Someone please recommend a self-help book that can teach me how to sleep through an alarm."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Nobody ever wants to borrow my hippo :-("

"Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally"

"""Not much. Just hanging out, hoping for World War III."" - Map makers"