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Joke of the Day

"I am the Dread Pirate Roberts of poverty. Taking ever increasing doses, hoping that one day I'll become immune."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as a choir boy."

"What's the difference between my dick and my shot gun? my daughter didn't cry when the gun went off in her mouth!"

"Beaver 1: our house has been flooded... Beaver 2: dam"

"Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say ""do you know who I am?"" because while I wait I like to be introspective"

"I'd only convert to Christianity to learn how to turn water to wine. WHADYA MEAN THEY DON'T TEACH YOU THAT? WHAT'S THE POINT, THEN?"

"A study has shown that women are better than men at driving in fog.. Well of course they are. They're not looking where they're going."

"Comedy is suffering. I just saw on twitter someone posted ""When you've got a migraine so bad you can't see straight :c"" I've never heard of a migraine making heterosexuals invisible before."

"Did you hear about the Irish firing squad? They formed a circle."

"What do you call a horse that plays the violin? Fiddler on the hoof!"