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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."

"What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him."

"Insomnia sufferers, look on the bright side. only three more sleeps until christmas."

"According to Einstein, ""Everything is relative."" Sort of like the marriages in Alabama."

"Your restraining order says NO But your lazy eye says.......maybe later."

"""Let the Bodies Hit the Floor"" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song."

"Hey, do you wanna f*** ;) ***only available at participating stores"

"There used to be a superhero that could turn into furniture and wore a crown... He was sofa king cool."

"Best garage sale ever! It's not advertised, nobody's here and it's all free! It's like my neighbor accidentally left his garage door open."

"a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a virgin of gamers"