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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."

"I made a new mixtape, it was trash Until I played it on my new galaxy note 7, then it was fire"

"I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone. I want to make it Hans-free!"

"Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table? Circumference"

"My mexican friend told me he is far sided, I said so does that mean you cant see far away? to which he replied >""No, I *quinceanera*"""

"what brand of power tool does Chris Brown use? Black and Decker."

"Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead."

"Turn that Robert Frowney Jr upside Downey Jr."

"a goddess makes a six second video da vine"

"[Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist"