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Joke of the Day

"I have a rare muscle disease that causes my hands to write racist things that I don't remember later. The Doctor is calling it Ron Palsy"

"Where do naughty rays of light go? Prism (Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)"

"""I can't believe after all this shit that they're still together..."" ""Who?"" Said a curious bastard. ""My buttcheeks."""

"Before the invention of Swiffers, people had to pick up dust with their own moist genitals."

"A bloke walks into a bar with his gorilla and the barman asks ""What drink can I get you?"" ""Just ice for Harambe"""

"What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza? ~A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"How do you know an r/jokes mod is a cyberman? [deleted]"

"age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I ""slept funny"""

"Fear does not exist in this dojo. And neither does air conditioning or proper ventilation, so you will all be sparring in your underwear."

"The bible says ""Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you"" But I think that's sexual harassment."