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Joke of the Day

"A man walked into his house and was delighted... ...when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps."

"What are two doctors with colds An ironic Paradox."

"A website that automatically plays music or needs to ""load"" is as outdated & terrible as slavery."

"Who reads the news AND makes coffee? Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)"

"The England squad have been receiving death threats and this morning they awoke to find a horses head. Fortuneatly, it was only Wayne Rooney asleep."

"I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity. I'm starting to regret naming my dog that."

"Pretty cool how your dreams went from ""Astronaut"" or ""Doctor"" to ""What's the lowest I can get to pass this course"""

"Why shouldn't you take rimjob jokes seriously? Because they're all tongue in cheek."

"And then I was all: ""I'm really getting sick of your shit, bitch."" And then she was all: ""To speak with a representative please press 7."""

"If you're going to get in trouble for hitting someone, might aswell hit them hard."