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Joke of the Day

"I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity. I'm starting to regret naming my dog that."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he was stuck to the chicken..."

"My boss fired an employee unexpectedly today and everyone wants to know why... I think it's because he was caught with a bag of cocaine. But regardless, our boss told us to keep our noses out of it."

"What do you do when you miss your ex? Reload and shoot again."

"So there I was balls deep in a 12 year old ... Then my dad walks in and freaks out starts screaming ""What the fuck are you doing to your sister"""

"10,000 worth of devices were stolen from an apple store last night. Police are hopeful that the 3 phones will be found."

"The Grapes of Wrath 2: The Raisins of Revenge"

"[teen me w/GF in my dad's car] Me: You wanna do it? Her: *giggling* Yes Me: *hears voice whisper no glove, no love* GET OUT OF THE CAR MOM"

"Why does Elmer Fudd only let Bug's Bunny eat snickers bars? Because silly wabbit, twix are for kids!"

"If my mouth could get pregnant, an entire box of fudge-pops would be taking paternity tests."