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Joke of the Day

"And then I was all: ""I'm really getting sick of your shit, bitch."" And then she was all: ""To speak with a representative please press 7."""

"First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory."

"good cop bag cop. the first cop is super nice. the second is an Adidas sports bag. no suspect has been charged ever."

"Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits."

"Divorce is like hitting the reset button on Super Mario Bros except now you pay for the Princess's castle and hope Bowser kills you."

"I am not a vegetarian because i love animals but i am a vegetarian because i hate plants"

"If you were a pole I would dance all over you."

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in!"

"Brought Turkey home from the deli and my wife yells ""I asked for Ham!"" Sorry, wrong sub."

"Biggest joke on Reddit r/politics"