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Joke of the Day

"The England squad have been receiving death threats and this morning they awoke to find a horses head. Fortuneatly, it was only Wayne Rooney asleep."

"She said a lot of F words and I don't think it stands for fabulous."

"Federal Express is to merge with United Parcel Services The resulting company will be called Federal United Parcels Or FedUp for short"

"A lawyer contracts a cold for two hours. What does he have? A brief case."

"Me and my mate have just been fighting over which is the best vowel. I won."

"my sex life is a lot like the bible mostly imaginary and with not much chance of a sequel"

"nothing says FUCK YOU like a restaurant giving you one napkin with your takeout order"

"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"I live with my wife in a two story house... ""I'm too tired"" and ""I have a headache"" are the only two stories I hear..."

"*Girl attempting to count to ten* girl 1: 1....3....5....7....9.... girl 2: What the hell? Why are you skipping numbers? girl 1: Because I can't even!!!"