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Joke of the Day

"Boss: this project is moving along at a snail's pace!! *silence* Todd the snail: This is bullshit *spends 3hrs storming out of meeting*"

"Before you decide to spend less time on social media, make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone."

"Do you want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure.."

"A pretty face gets old, a nice body changes, but a good woman will always be a good woman."

"*struggling to get the peanut butter jar that I just closed open* ""HOLY COW, I'M STRONGER THAN MYSELF"""

"I should rename myself Summer. All girls want is Summer to come."

"I don't mind comic sans. It's honestly a very well rounded font."

"You should never bully fat people.... They have enough on their plates"

"My purse is deeper than some people."

"What do you call a high definition piss? 1080 Pee -- My roommate"